Three years ago i started something. Ironically, i got a bike that day. I began to fall in love with two very magnificient things on the same day and it felt like nothing. All i felt was anxious. Yes, the same pang you feel before a journey to a new place feels. If you know me well enough, you'll know that i don't emote feelings like "surprise" or "excitement"; but I do emote much milder variants of the same.
So, I started. Wheels moved on and my love for these have changed. What began as a magnificent journey continued to be a ride on Indian roads. If you have ever been on a road trip in India, you will know that somewhere between the cows, speed-breakers, pot-holes(rather crators), road construction/repair work, towns, villages and heavy motor vehicles there is a long, smooth stretch of road. And these two journeys were no exceptions. The biggest complain I have, obviously, is the lack of the long stretches of road. Lifes a Bitch, I know.
Love as you know can get very passionate. It can also be "just there", waiting for you to come home to it. This is how both my affairs were. One, I was extremely passionate about and the other waited for me to come home to it. If I said that life has been unfair to me, i would be an asshole...or a publicist.
My passion grew drastically for almost two and a half years. I seemed to have forgotten family and friends for large periods of time. I forgot sundays and public holidays didn't seem to exist. I was then termed a machine. Machines take a beating and you know all about friction and stress, but what you don't know is about the bad users. Being abused day in and day out, I continued to be passionate. Why? Love, I guess.
Then I pushed further and created a gift. A small token to give to my love. I crafted and detailed everything. I planned and designed and stayed up nights. I made the people involved work like me, like a machine. But, what i forgot was that you only love something that reflects you in some or the other way. My love, could not emote very well.
Even that didn't matter to me. I was left alone by the people who tried to help me out for good. Outcast by the world around me. Maybe they could not understand my love. Maybe they did and thats why they left. But, it still hurt.
Three years later, I'm left all alone. My passion still rages on. But, the love has changed. There are times when you know you've done enough. You've fought for something hard enough. Thats when you count your losses and move on. Thats when you know that love is gone.
Hope is fucked up.
Audiences world over have become accustomed to a happy ending. So, here's mine -
The weels keep turning and I'm glad I have the love i can return to. Though I feel cheated and defeated, i'm glad I can still ride into Orion's belt and smile.
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